In years gone by, I’ve made resolutions. I don’t remember them. I would be able to find them in the diaries I start writing in so resolutely at the beginning of each year, but then, time flies, as it will, and resolutions fall by the wayside.
I didn’t bother this year.
Many people I know found the last year difficult. It was, but perhaps no more than any other. In 2012, I saw places I had never seen before – Canada, for the first time, new places in Switzerland. I lost friends and beloved relatives. I met people – Sonya in Vancouver, Sonia in Switzerland – whom I hope to know all my life. I welcomed back into my life old friends I had lost touch with. I made new ones whom I value deeply. I reconsidered the place of some people in my life, and realised the sad truth that sometimes, the balance will always be unequal.
But more importantly, the end of the year brought new beginnings. My beloved niece and godchild arrived in late October. Maya Isabel Monteiro, if ever anything brought my superstitious side to the fore, it would be you; I want to secretly put a black dot behind your ear each morning so nothing beyond colic ever bothers you.
An early December health scare brought more soul searching, and boundless gratitude for what seems like a chance to grab life anew.
And of course, December 29 was our 15th wedding anniversary – which Kevin and I celebrated holed up in a hotel with a bathtub in Pune. Among my many blessings, I thank the Lord for a man who I can still talk to for hours, and yet spend companionable hours with in total silence.
I’ve heard some good adjectives to begin this year – “awesome” (which I like), “sweet” (which I’m conflicted about).
I’d like for this to be an awesome year – for me and for you.
I’d like it to be a year of impromptu gatherings and grabbed opportunities. Kevin and I began the new year with a tiny get-together for friends, at which we served dinner out of the takeaway containers (gasp! I know!).
I want it to be the year in which I find some centredness, in which I am happier with myself.
The year in which I regain some semblance of body confidence.
The year in which I try new things – or things anew. Maybe it will be the year in which – dare I say it? – I learn, again, to drive.
I wish for you this year all these things – newness, rejuvenation, love and joy! I’d love to hear about your wishes for yourself this year: email me, if you’d rather not comment.
And to part, and to start this year, Neil Gaiman’s summing-up:
year be filled with
magic and dreams and good madness.
I hope you read some fine books
and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful,
and don't forget to make some art –
write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.
And I hope, somewhere i
next this year,
you surprise yourself.”Because you can, for yourself, make it a happy year!